Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
