My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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