is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
