I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
