Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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