Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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