ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So apparently I’m into choking now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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