Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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