dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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