You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
