we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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