Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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