I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
