turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him