dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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