I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion