My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So vagazzling was a success