1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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