im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
