and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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