kristin has been a bad kristin
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
