...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize