his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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