He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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