What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
