Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
