Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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