Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
