I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
