I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A bitchslap is in order.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
