I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
