where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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