Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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