You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
