I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
