If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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