hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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