you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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