your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
