if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
