First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
