There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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