Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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