You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
last night I used snow as a chaser
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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