Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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