Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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