Porn is love you can see.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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