Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
