Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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