I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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