fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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