Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
