Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
