I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
