my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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