stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
