...so i touched it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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