I'm really into asian looking animals
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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