Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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