Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
