Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We are all done wearing pants today
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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