why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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