Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize