yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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