I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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